The Dance

There is a reason for some of the songs on the playlist and that's why I had always wanted it on my Xanga. It has always been on my cafe mom-so I was so glad I could have it here:)
A few of these songs have special meaning to me and I will always love them for that.(This could get long so it may take more than 1 post.)
For those that dont know me I am the mommy of a now 4yr old preemie. My little boy was born at 27weeks 5days. He was 2# 8oz and 14". I am so very proud to say I'm a preemie mom~I will never be the same because of it. Becoming the mom (or dad) of a preemie ,or any baby that is born and goes to "live" in the NICU will for ever change your life,who you are,and your relationship with your spouse.... for ever!!! It is what you make of it, it brought us closer but for many it can be a huge strain on a relationship.
So for today I'll tell you my favorite Garth Brooks "The Dance" ....here are the lyrics:
Looking back on the memory of The dance we shared 'neath the stars above, For a moment, all the world was right! How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye? And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, But I'd have had to miss the dance. Holding you, I held everything! For a moment, wasn't I a king? But, if I'd only known how the king would fall... Hey, who's to say? You know, I might have changed it all. And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, But I'd have had to miss the dance. Yes, my life is better, left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance.

Now yes thankfully we did not lose are baby as many unfortunate parents of preemies do-so the goodbye does not apply...it's the message of "if you could know something in your life ahead would you change it? I would have thought at one point that I'd have jumped at the chance to not have gone through all that-for him to not have gone through it...but today I would say that would be a mistake. It has made me a better,stronger person. I am not the person I was before and am a better person b/c of it. He is different than my other kids-I know all kids are different-but not like that. Parents of preemies will tell you there is just something different about there personality,it has to have something to do with that will to live that they had, something special God wired them with-lol!
But the bottom line is I think most people think that if they had the chance to change the past-to not have to live through a hard time, that they'd change it. Although it was a very difficult time...and Lord I hope the most difficulty I'll ever have to live through . I'd have to say no, I would not change it b/c I would have missed "the dance"!